I came, i saw, i conquered ...................

............................. then didnt get as drunk as a certain buckfast weilding son of god

It occured to me at some stage in the past 24 hours that i hate women. Then i realised that it was not women but the affect that (i allow??) them to have over me. Its something like a loss of control or a skull-fuck. (slowly becoming my new favourite word) My experiences with relationships are hell at best. It seems that my reluctance over the last while to get involved with any one was something to do with me slowly running out of excuses as to why it fucked up.

The mind is a fragile and yet powerful tool\weapon. It works somewhat based on triggers and for some people these can fuck u up in ways you cant even imagine. A perfectly good night can be destroyed by the innnocent words of an unsuspecting freind.

The loss of control for anyone is a terrible scenario.

(congrats to sully and peadar who crawled under a fooseball table)
(Bob i forgive even if noone else will)
(Sorry to anyone who was out with me last night)
(Thanks to the fine lads on the tracks who left me alone)

Another one down, another one down ..................

...................... another one bites the dust

"Hello and welcome sportsfans to another exciting round of strike-out. This young athlete really is the next joe bloggs. His record speaks for itself really. He has managed to beat them off with a skill that was thought to be lost for years."

For all the good or/and bad in the world why must we condone ourselves to an action which will inevitably lead to disaster. I for one think i like the challenge of what new and exciting reason\excuse\accident will smack me in the face next.

Stuff is..............................

......................................complicated, so horribly complicated.

*looks to sky* and sighs.

I duuno why but i kinda do, when stuff goes right its not really. The longer the wait, the better the rewards and the bigger the mess when all implodes/explodes. A single great moment that leads to something or does it??

Maybe its that one little moment that is right and what we interpret after it is why it all goes wrong. We cant change the past, present or future but we can influence it. Most of the time even that right is taken away or at least should be.

Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.